Getting to No Debt

After my divorce, I was broke.

I didn't know what I would do. I was stressed.

My marriage was good. I felt comfort, or I thought I did. There was love, but it was directed more to our child and not ourselves. 

My marriage allowed me to experience life outside of Texas. Ironically, during the early years of my ex-wife's career, I had to comfort and encourage her on her business travels. She traveled for work a good majority of our marriage.

But there was a trade-off which she was eager to share with us. I appreciate that and will never ever think less of that decision we made together. It was a trade off.

In reality, the trade off worked but there was ramifications towards my finances. I subsidized the expenses with my credit cards. 

Like a coward, I didn't share it with my wife. I thought I could handle it. I tried. Really. But our toddler needed things. And I wanted my wife to be happy and maybe show interest in me again.

Things started to fall apart in our home, our vehicles, and our relationship. But I thought maybe paying for things I couldn't afford could somehow show strength. 

Eventually, I met my low. I got divorced. I was in debt. I was depressed. I lost it all. 

I'm not that religious. I wish I was--it would make this story so much better, really. 

I met a wonderful girl, so I thought. I fell in love, quickly. She was it. She was the one. She was the perfect... Oh.

She is ill. Mentally. 

My life collapsed. 

I wanted a life with her, I decided. But I couldn't have use get pregnant. Not now that I know it wouldn't be right, I thought. I got a vasectomy. 

I loved her so much. I could spend anything for her. And I did.

We travelled to visit her grandparents--a few times. It was all worth it, really. I would do it again, many times. I felt loved. This was my family.

I was in debt coming home.

Life changed and a breakup happened.

I was devastated.

Seasons changed and I began to turn a new leaf. I dated. More debt. Dated more. More debt.

Then the pandemic hit.

Lo and behold, it was as if nature was cleansing itself.

A silver-lining. I met this wonderful girl. We enjoyed dining at home almost everyday during the pandemic. If there wasn't food, we improvised. Actually, she improved.

Within a year, I closed my Discover Card with a zero balance, and I owed less than $4,000 to Visa now, something I can actually pay off.

I guess, the moral of the story is that I had it somewhat easy--the pandemic. I say that lightly, but really, if you feel struggling with expenses and feel there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel, use me as an example. I was in debt close to $30,000. In five years, I was able to pay it off. It can be done.

How? Don't be afraid to ask for help. First, call the credit card companies. Negotiate a reasonable APR. Second, destroy your cards. Get rid of them. Pay your due amount but more. Be straight forth with your partner. Don't hide something that will surface eventually. More importantly, stay positive.