Dating During COVID and the "End Game"

I started dating this wonderful woman before the start of COVID, literally. 

Our first date was in late January. We went on a few more dates, and then COVID hit.

We've been together since. Through the pandemic. 

We were in lockdown together, but as we slowly emerge from COVID reality is starting to emerge. Granted, I suspected this would occur three months into the pandemic: what's the end game?

Fast-forward to tonight. 

We had a lovely evening eating at Sushi Zushi at the Domain in Austin, Texas. The weather was perfect -- not too hot and at all cold. Perfect.

Being an epidemiologist, she is super cautious of exposures. Add to that: her son is getting married in a couple of weeks so spread of virus is absolutely on her radar.

During our meal, I expressed my concerns regarding my kid. "She, will be with me," I explained, "It has been bothering me because she comes first. I'm conflicted," I admitted, "because for me I need to be 'dad' when she is with me."

She didn't take it lightly. I figured it would bother her. I felt berated. Later that evening, after things cooled down, I expressed my feelings of being scolded and added that a relationship, to me, was one of being honest and open. I added that I was more looking to share my feelings with my companion and it was received negatively. 

The whole thing was soar, to be honest. 

Later in the evening, at a different location, she brought up dating after COVID and how we were at that point.

I kind of knew where this was going. It was something I brought up earlier in the year. 

Being me, I herded the conversation in my direction.   

I explained that in my point of view, I felt that people are placed in other's lives for a reason. It is up to us to determine and decided whether to follow them. For me, a higher being brought an epidemiologist into my life during a pandemic. And for me, an catastrophic outage during a winter storm caused her to be with me.

Later in our conversation I added that we are on borrow time. We have to appreciate the life before us as in the now. We can't hold grudges. We have to find comedy in life. We can't find the negative in things. 

I went into this relationship because I wanted to live. As a grounded individual who cares so much for his offspring, I felt it was important to rely in someone's knowledge. And I did. Still do.

I wouldn't trade it in for anything less. 

When I dropped her off after our date, I felt she was thinking a little more about this situation. I'm sure she was contemplating all the other elements revolving around her head.

In isolation, dating each other worked. We had each other. We depended on each other. But for how long? When's the 'end game?'