"Sex and How to Get It" by Cynthia Heimel

Literature Appreciation

While flipping through an old PLAYBOY magazine, I came across an article by columnist Cynthia Heimel. Actually, I'll be honest, the title "Sex and How to Get It" was what caught my attention. 

The American feminist and humorist writer was known as being the first to have a column in PLAYBOY that focused on women. Heimel's main focus was sexual self-confidence for women and the idea that women enjoy sex.

Born on July 13, 1947, Heimel started writing for an alternative magazine in the late 1960s called Distant Drummer. She then worked for numerous publications including Penthouse Magazine, New York Daily News, The Village Voice, Vogue, and then PLAYBOY.

In her column, "Sex and How to Get It," she shares a conversation with the Editorial Director of Playboy, where she mentions her active sex life. The editorial director suggested Cynthia write about it, but she is hesitant due to potential negative reactions from certain readers, and expresses frustration that woman's magazines, at the time, frowns upon such openness in using explicit language when discussing sex.

"I want to just casually call it fucking, but I can't bring myself to. I would have no problem using it in a women's magazine, but none of those prissy women's magazines would let me."

Cynthia digresses to describe a disappointing experience at a male strip show they attended with a friend. Although she appreciated the male performers for their physique, she found the women's reactions to be off-putting and not genuinely arousing.   

"It was the women who were hideous. Shrieking. No, more like keening. If they had been one decibel higher only a dog could have heard them, but no. It was like being at a Beatles concert in 1965, only louder. Loud enough to split my head open, maybe. But were they turned on? Nope. They were letting off steam... If a stripper touched her on any part of her body, she shied away, which is quite the paradox. Women supposedly screaming in lust were still loath to let strange men grope them." 

She adds how men who go to strip clubs sit quietly with hard-ons, different from women. She explains that men are turned-on easily without knowing who the woman is. She adds that woman, like herself, are turned on more when a man fits their interest.

"The men who go to strip clubs are pretty quiet, sitting there with hard-ons. They really are turned on. They want some lap dancing. They don't much care who the woman is, because those auxiliary sex glands in their eyes take over. Women have to know a guy."

Cynthia anticipates receiving negative letters from readers due to her use of explicit language in her column, recalling a past incident where she received verbal abuse from hostile readers after Playboy Men Columnist Asa Baber shared a fantasy. 

"Once Asa Baber wrote about how I gave him a blow job at a restaurant. I remember reading his column and getting dizzy with shock. At the end he confessed it was a fantasy, but by then it was too late. Many dumb hostile guys didn't read to the end."

Despite concerns, Cynthia reveals her strong sexual desire for her current partner, Andrew. They cherish the intense moments of passion they share, emphasizing that nothing compares to the feeling of being sexually intimate, and she hopes Andrew will be supportive and not say anything hurtful or foolish regarding her openness about their sex life.

Source: 

Wikipedia

Heimel, Cynthia. "Sex and How to Get It." PLAYBOY, vol. 43, no. 1, January 1996, p. 33.