Texas and Transgender

Pardon the Interruption

If you aren't aware of this, "Pardon the Interruption" breaks from the absolute "norm" of this blog and pops in some personal thought or commentary. If you don't care for someone's thoughts, perspective, or belief, especially when it comes to politics, jump to the next entry or check out some of my previous posts.

About a year ago, my kid came out to me and his mom. It wasn't gradual. There were no signs. 

"Dad, I am a girl," he said as he walked to his side of the couch as we watched TV. 

Dumbfounded, I replied, "okay." No follow up. Just "okay."

I raised my kid as a boy, I thought. Little league baseball. Soccer. Cars. Trucks. Thomas the Train. All boy stuff. 

He hated pink, I remembered. He wanted nothing to do with dolls, although I teased him multiple times at Toys 'R Us walking down the doll aisle. 

This was a surprise. I had no idea what to think. 

The following day I responded the wrong way, "It's your choice." I said it without knowing for a trans person that's the wrong thing to say. It's not a choice. It's who they are. 

I tried to reason with myself, not him. It's a phase. It's something he'll grow out of. It's like me when I  tried on pantyhose. It felt good but the response was more because I thought of girls. 

I recalled bullies calling me faggot, fag, or gay when I was in middle school and high school. I was odd and I had very little knowledge of the opposite sex so I was naïve. 

I knew I liked girls but just the suggestion made me think otherwise. Plus, MTV music videos clouded my feelings even more as I ventured through my teen sexual identity.

George Michael's Freedom '90, Madonna's Express Yourself, and Price's Cream made me really question my sexuality. I had no idea what gay was? I was sheltered and raised that boys like girls, period. All I knew at that age was that I felt tingly when I saw girls in very little clothing and showing their body.

So, fast forward 20 years and I'm having to figure out how to address the news my kids delivered to me. How am I supposed to respond? I know I love my kid, and I knew I would love him/her regardless, period.

She approached his mom and I and said she wants to start T-blockers. This quickly became real. 

Things around my house started changing. The first thing that went up in her room was the trans flag and a light display formed of a heart. 

The baseball boy became a girl almost overnight. I had to adjust to this setup. 

His mom and I discussed this over text and phone calls and determined to support out kid throughout. We began the process to help her navigate through this event.

Appointments were scheduled with a transgender therapist and physician, and in no time we were in their office or visiting over Zoom. The tough questions emerged. The what, when, where, and how. We were new to this, but we both knew we had to be there to support our kid. 

In the meantime, the Texas leadership decided to rein in on transgender kids. In their view, I assume, they felt parents were abusing their children by making them be the opposite sex. That's way far from the truth. 

As a parent who believes so strongly on individual rights to be a human with solid convictions, I feel more willing to support my child and their belief. She is no different than if she was a "he." 

I have no bout against the Governor of our state. He proved himself a strong leader up until he decided to pander to the far right and lead his state astray. 

He decided to call not only once but three times the legislature to address law that would suppress kids who feel whole-heartedly, their God-given right, as the opposite gender. Gender. Gender. 

I remember being called a faggot. I didn't know what that meant. My heart hurt. I was bullied without knowing what "bullying" meant. Everyone knew I was naïve and had no clue what it all meant. It hurt. I really did.

I look at my kid. And I am so proud of her. She is able to stand against the bullies and be who she is regardless of the name calling. That's true bravery.